longing.
it's like desiring, but deeper. kind of like hunger. and it sinks from my throat to the bottom of my stomach and is almost instantly paired with dread.
longing is the depressing version of wanting something badly, because with longing, i have a sense that i'm not going to get what i'm longing for.
who i'm longing for.
no, no, no. that's not accurate. longing for, um, i'll call him tolstoy, because this is the internet, after all, is an exaggeration. to say that i long for him is being dramatic. and i deserve some credit for addressing and admitting my own tendency towards drama. i don't long for him, but i yearn for something from him. just, like, attention, affirmation. some credit.
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