financial peace!

so, i've been in Financial Peace University for four weeks now & i've learned a ton.

a few choice lessons:

1) there are no emergencies. really? your car broke down? that's such a shame. i thought cars were supposed to last forever. you never could have expected your car to break down. there's no way you could have planned and saved some money for potential car repairs, right? and had that money working for you while it was in the bank? just think of it. same thing with things like renter's insurance and DMV fees (once a year dingers that always seem to sneak up). but really, do they? maybe we could grow up and start planning for these expenses, and stop whining.

2) it may take time to get out of debt, but the companies i owe money to do not actually own me. my obligation is to take care of myself - make sure i have somewhere to live, food to eat, a car to drive to work, and clothes on my back (and they don't have to be fancy). after that, some giving, saving, bills, and then debt. and with the committed intensity of a banshee, i will be debt free by the time i'm 30! and with the same habits, a millionaire when i'm 45? maybe! j. money at www.budgetsaresexy.com inspired me.

and my favorite quotes from the class:

when broke people say "i can afford it," they mean "i think i can afford the payments. when rich people say "i can afford it," they mean "i have the money to pay for it." - dave ramsey

"there's a great place to go when you're broke. to work." - dave ramsey's grandma

i was stoked this last week, because i had to go home and wrench away on a ton of worksheets that calculate multiple savings accounts, net worth, etc. there are some at dave ramsey's website, but i'm not into having to pay $30 a year to access forms that aren't transferrable to my iPhone. plus, i'm kind of a nerd about spreadsheets. (my favorite friend melissa would be proud).

the fifty-something women (not as spreadsheet savvy as i) in my FPU class were very jealous of my colorful finance sheets, especially the one that deliniated what i'm saving for. it has a picture of a vespa on it.

hey, if they can help you, by all means! enjoy. and the best money advice i can give you: quit spending money on stupid crap.

see & download my zero-based budget here:
http://spreadsheets.google.com/ccc?key=0AiGTzEkvMbG4dGE3VWZ5Z3JoWFdJVnMtRTFwZ2tid0E&hl=en

see & download all my other blank FPU worksheets here:
http://spreadsheets.google.com/ccc?key=0AiGTzEkvMbG4dDdvYWVVNEx0MFZBYURWSWUwelNSN2c&hl=en

there's sand all over my bedroom. there's sand everywhere.

which is funny, because until a few weeks ago, i never went to the beach. i've lived in north county for the past four years, always within a mile of the ocean, but i've never spent much time on the shore. until now.

we end up at the beach. that's what we do. it's a safe zone. neutral territory. public property (which lends to safety of one kind - protecting me, in a sense, from myself). government property (which sets me at ease for other reasons).

but safety, comfort, common ground - that's why we end up at the beach. five times every week.

"this is what this season is like," i say, rubbing my jaw, because it aches. i've been smiling non-stop since i started spending time with him a few weeks ago. and when i'm not with him, i'm talking about him. it's taking its toll on me, physically. "i don't think we'll always be this ridiculous." and ridiculous, it is. he steers and changes gears with his left hand while his right hand calmly engulfs both of mine. after i tried to drive us somewhere once, we abandoned that idea, because i nearly killed us. i couldn't keep my eyes on the road.

so this is where we are. this is where i am. learning how to do life... without jenni (minus one), with caleb (plus one). in the midst of it, the Lord's teaching me that He's my protector, provider & the one who ultimately surrounds me and ensures that i'm not alone - an amazing lesson to be learning, because with my weak heart, i definately have a propensity to be swayed by this one's protective nature and just lose myself in this. God's grace and timing are honestly so amazing in teaching me extra lessons about His character just in time for me to keep focused on Him. in all of this, our ultimate goal is to honor Him above all & to love the Giver more than the gift.

my blackout

so... no twitter or facebook for the month of august.

basically: a campaign to work on the real attachments in my life & quit using fake, substitute attachments (which i so effectively announce to the non-world that is the blogosphere). but really- this is an actual issue with me, i'm realizing. it was one thing to be connected to people when i was gone on my roadtrip, but quite another when i'm home and still reaching to these fakey-fake attachments to feel like i'm connected to the world. i have people around me, and i want to connect with them.

another thought: Jesus. and the time i spend with Him. i'm thinking about my investment in my cyber-self. which is far, far too much. i'm even thinking now about how i should go back to a non-roadtrip banner for my blog, since i'm not on the road anymore, and change the name back. because i'm sooo important and have sooo many readers. neither of those things are true. meanwhile, GOD LONGS FOR ME FURIOUSLY. (i'm reading brennan manning right now.) He's like, i'd like a status update. take as many characters as you want. and i'm all, i don't have time, but you can follow me on twitter.

of course, it's not that bad, but it's not NOT that bad, either. my priorities have been very, very self-focused of late and i think a social networking blackout will do me some good, and a month is a good start.

i guess in that sense, it's a fast, right? abstaining from one thing to focus on another? and in this case, i'm focusing on the relationships that i DO want to have (real ones, with real people), not fake ones (built on the cutest pictures i choose, the wittiest quotes i decide to post, and the politics of who's writing what to who).

i was reminded that i quit eating meat and dairy for just 2 weeks in early january, and here i am, 7 months later, vegan. i just couldn't go back. i gave up celebrity gossip for lent, and i've never returned to it with the fury i once had. "it's the year of giving up," i said to jenni, brad, and lorie from the kitchen tonight.